Ting First to Market with 6G Mobile Network Technology
Andrew Moore-Crispin • April 26, 2017if( has_post_thumbnail( $post_id ) ): ?>
For immediate release
Ting mobile is very pleased to be the first carrier in North America to lay claim to offering 6G Mobile Network Technology.
The brand new 6G Mobile Network Technology promises to be at least twice as fast as the 3G standard for cellular data and market tested as feeling 2.7 times more legit than the 5G iteration of 4G network technology that forward-thinking mobile marketing and communications teams have already coined.
“We saw how some carriers were innovating in the Iterative Network Naming Technology (INNT) field and decided to take that challenge head-on,” said Michael Goldstein, VP of Marketing for Ting. “We’re moving beyond the Software Defined Network (SDN) to the Marketing Defined Network (MDN) he said, twisting the pencil moustache that I’d have sworn wasn’t there a second ago.
While most other carriers can claim to offer the speeds of 6G Mobile Network Technology, Ting is the first to market with the 6G rebranding of today’s LTE standard.
The underlying technology of 6G Mobile Network Technology is the exact same as the 2x3G+LTE technology that Ting recently backed away from citing customer confusion.
“We’ve been market testing the 6G concept in select markets and people really seem to ‘get it,'” said Andrew Moore-Crispin, Chief Propaganda Officer for Ting. “They actually said that the 6G network felt faster and more reliable in the field!
“I mean, if you’re going to press the point then yes, 6G really is just LTE with some spin applied. We’d really much prefer that you not press the point, though,” he continued. “All of that was off the record,” Moore-Crispin said. “What I actually meant to write and then attribute to myself as if it were a spoken quote was ‘no comment, he said,'” he said he said.
6G Mobile Network Technology is set to take over as the new mobile marketing buzzword du jour.
“We’re very happy to be the first to bring this brand new mobile buzzword to market,” said Jesse Simms, Assistant to the Chief Propaganda Officer and Lead Fallguy if this little scheme ends up backfiring in any way.
“While our CPO is the one writing this press release, I feel completely comfortable with each and every quote that is being attributed to me,” both Simms and Goldstein totally said.
Just to be 100% clear. 6G is not a real thing.
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What is Ting Mobile anyway?
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